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A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (NY)
BROOKLYN, NY - It was discovered, last Monday, that a tree has
grown in Brooklyn, NY. Amazed residents stared dumbfounded at
the three-year-old sapling. Two girls discovered the North
American Honey Birch (Honeyus Bircheus) on the way to...
April Fool's Day
April Fool’s Day originates from Germany. It is believed to be the brain child of Gabriel Hoffman who lived in Damstadt during the 1860’s. The day is celebrated in many countries with the execution of elaborate practical jokes on unsuspecting...
Chocolate and Laughs - The Sure-Fire Remedy for Anything Life Throws at You
Chocolate is Worth Crowing and Laughing About
Chocolate kindles passion and emotion as few things can. It makes us happy and feeds the soul. Besides eating it (over 51 pounds per person per year), people delight in talking about it and making...
I LEFT MY TOES IN TUKTOYAKTUK
Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005 I LEFT MY TOES IN TUKTOYAKTUK -- Or, Tittynoping Tales from a Tavern Fox -- Theolonius McTavish, a trivial talkingstock (an Old English term for an object of conversation) who inevitably forgets the...
It's Not My Fault....Whose Responsibility Is It Anyway?
It amazes me, how often during a week, I hear "It's not my fault, it's not my responsibility".
It seems that in today's society no one wants to take responsibility for anything. Parents don't or won't take the responsibility of how their...
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A Lawyers Favorite Lawyer Jokes
Lawyer Jokes
Q: How does a pregnant woman know she is carrying a future lawyer?
A: She has an extreme craving for baloney.
Q: What is the legal definition of “Appeal”?
A: Something a person slips on in a grocery store.
Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?
A: To practice.
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 12?
A: Your Honor.
Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A: The lawyer charges more.
Q: What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?
A: The caterer.
Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one.
Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
A: An offer you can't understand.
Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
A: Senator
Q: Did you hear they just released a new Barbie doll called "Divorced Barbie"?
A: It comes with half of Ken's things and alimony.
Q: What's the difference between an attorney and a pit bull?
A: Jewelry.
Q: What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A: Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new Ferrari.
Q: What’s the difference between lawyers and accountants?
A: At least accountants know they’re boring.
Stories:
1. A man who had been
caught embezzling millions went to a lawyer. His lawyer told him, "Don’t worry. You’ll never go to jail with all that money? In fact, when the man was sent to prison, he didn’t have a dime.
2. As the lawyer awoke from surgery, he asked, "Why are all the blinds drawn?" The nurse answered, "There's a fire across the street, and we didn't want you to think you had died."
3. God decided to take the devil to court and settle their differences once and for all. Satan heard this, laughed and said, "And where do you think you're going to find a lawyer?"
4. A lawyer is sitting at the desk in his new office. He hears someone coming to the door. To impress his first potential client, he picks up the phone as the door opens and says, "I demand one million and not a penny less." As he hangs up, the man now standing in his office says, "I'm here to hook up your phone."
And finally:
You Might Be A Lawyer If.... You are charging someone to read these jokes.
About the Author: Richard Chapo is a San Diego business lawyer with http://www.sandiegobusinesslawfirm.com and is rumored to have a sense of humor. Then again, you never know with rumors.
Source: www.isnare.com
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